Skip to main content

When the Sadness Won’t Stop


 Sadness, exhaustion, lack of motivation. We have all been there at some point. I want to share my experience as a young mom to shed light on a hidden epidemic. Depression does not always look like someone dressed in baggy, filthy clothes nor do those with depression always appear unhappy in social situations.
 Depression can be the smiling mom with beautiful children at the grocery store or the teacher with amazing ideas for her students. I have been there, struggling daily to get out of bed, cook meals, show up for my family.  Hindsight informs me it was likely postpartum. For some of us, it’s the lack of sunshine that seasonally gets us down. For others, it is the beginning of a new year with hopes and goals that quickly get overshadowed with the responsibilities of caring for our families. Whatever has led you to this place when you want to be happy but cannot physically make it happen, it is real and it is so very hard. I know this pain. So many others do too, we just keep smiling and pretending.
 Here are a few steps that helped me move from feeling worthless to finding worthiness. If these do not speak to your heart, please ask for help from a friend or counselor, a mom, sister, or pastor. Those who know and love you can cover you with prayer, and stand with you as you try to walk out of the emotional darkness.
Listen to who God says you are. It may not sink in at first. I tried to pray, read my Bible and found myself getting angry with God and saying “so what?” You love me but I don’t love myself. Allow yourself to be covered with truth even when you don’t believe it.
Keep doing life. Your kids still need you, though you think you are failing. You are still valuable in your job, marriage and friendships though you have so many reasons why you don’t think this is true. Keep going. You will see how much you are needed and that your worth is great.
Cry, mourn, scream. We often try to hold it all in and hold everyone else up. Sometimes you need permission to let those emotions pour out so you can find healing. Do it. It is cathartic and just might allow you to see some light in your darkness.
Don’t give up. I realized if I gave up, it would just make my feelings true, I really was worthless. Use your competitive spirit, argumentative nature, stubborn will; whatever you have. Determine not to give in to these lies. Believe you are better than this. Do not let the darkness consume you. Let God give you the strength to fight.
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. (Psalm 46:5)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Close to His Heart

                                                 We had just finished pushing Thomas the Train down the track to meet up with his red friend James, and read the last few pages of  Curious George Gets a Medal . It was time to get our coats on and head home for nap time, crossing my fingers he didn't fall asleep in the car. I pulled his blueberry hat over his ears to bear the Massachusetts winter chill, and guided his little arms into the royal blue marshmallow puff coat I thought would be so warm. Yet, now, the coat was an object of regret because what two year old wouldn't scream in opposition to being bound like a mummy, unable to move.  I wasn't sure if it was the coat or not wanting to leave, but the wailing began.     Feet stomping, throwing himself on the floor kicking, he screamed, “No, Mommy, I don't want to go home!No,...
Post a Comment
Read more

Lean Into the God who Gives True Rest

 It’s 3am, our infant is beginning to stir and wake. She is hungry again after only two hours since she nursed last. I have to will my eyes open, suffer the pain of staying awake while truly exhausted. I think how nice it will be when she sleeps through the night and yet, these sweet little fingers holding mine. Her soft breaths of contentment reveal her trust in me. It’s 4 am, I can’t sleep. I walk by my toddler’s room, see her sweet curls, finger wrapped around them. It has been a rough day, temper tantrums in the middle of the store, refusal to nap. How sweet now, as she lays on her pastel butterfly sheets clutching her “Lambie.” It’s 12:30am, she’s still not home. I will my eyes to stay open, waiting for her to come through the door. I start to worry, I shouldn’t. She’s always been responsible, she has a good group of friends. But what if...? What about...? My prayer in these moments is that God would protect my children, wrap his loving arms around them. They are ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Back to School Musings

Back to School Musings I am a mom of four-4th Grade, 6th, 8th, and 10th. I am also a teacher. When my kids were little, they loved to read. My 1st grader read all of the Harry Potter books and understood everything he read.  My 5 year old’s favorite thing to have in his bed at night were 20 of his most prized books. My kids created outfits out of newspaper. They spent an entire snow day making butter beer and role-playing Harry Potter scenes. It has been one of my primary focuses as a mom to foster their creativity and love  of reading, love of learning. Unfortunately, as they hit the middle school years and even earlier, reading has become a chore. They often hate going to school-and this is not for lack of friends as they all thrive socially. Our schools are becoming  assembly lines. Don’t get me wrong, we have had some amazing teachers who bucked the system and fostered excitement and inquisitiveness. However, the testing, testing, testing. Singular focus on computer...
Post a Comment
Read more