In honor of National Hug Day, which was January 21 and Valentine's Day coming up, this post is about the power of a hug in the lives of our children.
I have never been one for public displays of affection. I can be slow to hug others, unless there has been a level of trust established. I have even been known to whine and squirm away as a child when my mom tried to give me hugs. "Sorry, Mom!" However, being a parent changes everything. Being a parent melts away insecurities, selfishness, and personal preferences. Being a parent forces one to give up all sense of self, at least for a time.
Mark 10:45 For even the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.
When our children are infants, you can't get enough of snuggling close, smelling their sweet fragrance, kissing those soft cheeks. When they are toddlers, they become more independent but return to your arms for comfort when they fall, when they are scared or unsure. Yet, they will still climb on your lap and find joy in being close. Then in grade school, their friends become increasingly more important; homework and activities take more of their time and focus. Hugs and cuddles become less frequent, particularly if we are not aware of their need for love outwardly expressed with a hug.
As a parent of children at both ends of the spectrum, pre-teens and early elementary, I have a unique view of our children's perceptions of their parents' love and affection. As I cuddle with my younger two, read stories before bed, have them sit with me after school to tell me about their day; many times our older two will come in and join us under the guise of wrestling their siblings, though they are really begging for attention, eager to share in the love and affection that was pushed away earlier in the day. It's as if they are saying, "I know you think I don't want to be close, but I do. Show me love too, give me a hug too."
Daily, I make sure to give them hugs as they leave for school and before bed. I give hugs when my kids have screamed their last, " It's not fair, mom!" There are hugs when they struggle over math homework and just can't seem to get it. Hugs come when they are upset over something that was said or how they were treated. Hugs can heal your children's hearts. Hugs can heal you too, when the arguments have worn you down and made you feel inadequate as a parent.
Maybe you have seen the sitcom, The Goldberg's which has its inappropriate humor but is also reminiscent of the simple 80s and a mom who smothers her teenage children with " Snuggies!" I believe in the power of hugs, though not going overboard as the sitcom mom does. I try to provide the space and timing that make hugs effective, a source of nurturing, and welcome.
There can be healing power in an enveloping hug full of unconditional love. When words, choices, bribery or discipline cannot mold a child’s strong will, I have discovered the beauty of falling at the feet of Jesus with my child, hugging them close, and telling them I love them.
I write this as a suggestion which seems all too simple: Hug your children. Um. Yeah. Not rocket science. There are different types of hugs. Ones that merely provide quick comfort and seem to indicate "that's enough, go play." There are hugs that are unwanted because they are not supported
by a parents' loving, understanding relationship and therefore, seem shallow. Then there are hugs that heal, that comfort, that express God's infinite love through a parents' arms.
Our children will never outgrow the need for our hugs, our unconditional love given with enveloping arms around them. Even when they seem distant, cold, or angry; an honest, sometimes apologetic, comforting hug may be all they need to move closer to you, to experience God's love for them.
We are God's hands and feet to our children, our spouses, and the world. Lord, help me to reflect your love in all that I do and say, help me to love unconditionally and to never turn my back when others need me most, as you never turn away from us.
Isaiah 40:11
I have never been one for public displays of affection. I can be slow to hug others, unless there has been a level of trust established. I have even been known to whine and squirm away as a child when my mom tried to give me hugs. "Sorry, Mom!" However, being a parent changes everything. Being a parent melts away insecurities, selfishness, and personal preferences. Being a parent forces one to give up all sense of self, at least for a time.
Mark 10:45 For even the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.
When our children are infants, you can't get enough of snuggling close, smelling their sweet fragrance, kissing those soft cheeks. When they are toddlers, they become more independent but return to your arms for comfort when they fall, when they are scared or unsure. Yet, they will still climb on your lap and find joy in being close. Then in grade school, their friends become increasingly more important; homework and activities take more of their time and focus. Hugs and cuddles become less frequent, particularly if we are not aware of their need for love outwardly expressed with a hug.
As a parent of children at both ends of the spectrum, pre-teens and early elementary, I have a unique view of our children's perceptions of their parents' love and affection. As I cuddle with my younger two, read stories before bed, have them sit with me after school to tell me about their day; many times our older two will come in and join us under the guise of wrestling their siblings, though they are really begging for attention, eager to share in the love and affection that was pushed away earlier in the day. It's as if they are saying, "I know you think I don't want to be close, but I do. Show me love too, give me a hug too."
Daily, I make sure to give them hugs as they leave for school and before bed. I give hugs when my kids have screamed their last, " It's not fair, mom!" There are hugs when they struggle over math homework and just can't seem to get it. Hugs come when they are upset over something that was said or how they were treated. Hugs can heal your children's hearts. Hugs can heal you too, when the arguments have worn you down and made you feel inadequate as a parent.
Maybe you have seen the sitcom, The Goldberg's which has its inappropriate humor but is also reminiscent of the simple 80s and a mom who smothers her teenage children with " Snuggies!" I believe in the power of hugs, though not going overboard as the sitcom mom does. I try to provide the space and timing that make hugs effective, a source of nurturing, and welcome.
There can be healing power in an enveloping hug full of unconditional love. When words, choices, bribery or discipline cannot mold a child’s strong will, I have discovered the beauty of falling at the feet of Jesus with my child, hugging them close, and telling them I love them.
I write this as a suggestion which seems all too simple: Hug your children. Um. Yeah. Not rocket science. There are different types of hugs. Ones that merely provide quick comfort and seem to indicate "that's enough, go play." There are hugs that are unwanted because they are not supported
by a parents' loving, understanding relationship and therefore, seem shallow. Then there are hugs that heal, that comfort, that express God's infinite love through a parents' arms.
Our children will never outgrow the need for our hugs, our unconditional love given with enveloping arms around them. Even when they seem distant, cold, or angry; an honest, sometimes apologetic, comforting hug may be all they need to move closer to you, to experience God's love for them.
We are God's hands and feet to our children, our spouses, and the world. Lord, help me to reflect your love in all that I do and say, help me to love unconditionally and to never turn my back when others need me most, as you never turn away from us.
Isaiah 40:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
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